December 9, 2018. Since that fucking asshole ran into me with his car back on August 25, 2018, I have regressing back into a withdrawn state that I am not really comfortable with; a state that I attribute to the high speed collision and that is related to my Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy.
I was just outside hitting golf balls to our dog Zeke. I have been getting progressively more depressed and withdrawn over the past months. It all started again after that fucking accident. A few minutes ago while I was hitting balls, I saw Zeke running after a ball and realized that the CTE was the reason for my current state of mental and spiritual dismay.
Like the first time I realized I had the disease, I realized again that my spiritual dichotomy and upset was because of my CTE. Realizing you have the problem is 99 Percent of dealing with it.
Here I am thinking I am not feeling good, that something is wrong with me physically. My energy has been draining and I just felt kind of dead inside that transferred into my brain.
Well the sun is out the temperature is in the twenties and there is snow on the ground.
I think I am going out to hit more golf balls and spend some quality time with Zeke.